For as long as I can remember I’ve believed that I’m not good enough.
Things were said to me as a child that I held on to. Lies that I took on as my identity.
The past four years have consisted of me trying to figure out the lies I’ve been believing and finding the truth to replace them.
It’s been a process. It’s not easy to get out of certain patterns of believing.
Honestly, that’s the biggest lie that tries to creep itself back into my mind, I am not good enough.
I think it’s the biggest lie we can all believe about ourselves.
It’s a root. And it grows into almost everything.
Like friendships.
And jobs.
Passions.
Because I struggle so much with not feeling good enough, I try and compensate for it.
I people please. To an unhealthy extent.
This means not saying “no.”
It means dancing around issues that I don’t want to address and cause conflict.
Not feeling good enough throws me into not being myself.
It means trying to fit into what I see as good. Not what God sees as good.
Not feeling good enough also makes me not want to try.
I have passions and things that I love to do and feel called to do, but I don’t do them.
I do destructive things that only further my feeling of not good enough.
But the thing is. It’s not anyone else telling me I’m not good enough.
It’s fear telling me I’m not good enough.
It’s fear telling me if I try I’ll fail.
It’s fear breathing down my neck in a conversation telling me my joke just flopped and everyone things I’m dumb.
It’s fear telling me I’m too afraid.
So I believe it. And I stop.
Being myself.
Doing what I love.
Trying.
Fighting.
I stop myself.
Because of fear.
Because it tells me I’m not good enough.
Recently I was challenged to think about the lies I believe and find a truth to replace it.
The lie: obviously, “i’m not good enough.”
As I was praying about it I felt God’s peace.
The truth: God made us good enough.
God has made us righteous.
“God made Him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God.” 2 Corinthians 5:21
There’s nothing we could do or say to make ourselves good enough. Because He has already done it.
Everything else is just extra.
So be yourself.
Feel what you need to feel.
Step out in courage, because even if you fail this time, He’s got you.
Even if there’s rejection, He’s got you.
Follow your dreams and wake up each morning knowing that you were made good enough and anything you could do today is just extra.