Caught Up

Sometimes I let things take over. I let feelings steer the whole car and I sit back and watch myself crash and burn.

I get caught up.

I get caught up in words. In actions. In things that don't call for reading into, and yet, here I go.

I overanalyze.

and I'm done.

I'm done trying to read into actions.

I'm done trying to read between the lines of what someone says.

I am honestly sick of myself trying to tell if someone had an underlying meaning in something innocent they said to me.

I need to just take people for their words. I need to take it all at face value.

I can't live a life where I think that someone likes me, or rather, doesn't like me because they said something in a certain tone.

I refuse to constantly think that someone is mad at me because they aren't talking, when really, maybe they just don't want to talk.

My internal processor has really run away with all of this. I blame being an introvert.

Maybe this is my life test. Shutting down my mind long enough to realize I'm being completely ridiculous.

But also shutting down outside encouragements and other peoples over analyzing.

Sometimes we just need to take a person for their word. And no one else's.

But maybe that's just me...

Words With Friends

Today I had a conversation with a couple of friends about, well, liking people. We shared stories, and talked about views on how to go about telling people you like them.

I didn't necessarily disagree with anything that was said. I mean I do think it would be nice if a woman didn't have to make the first move, but I don't think that men have to be the only ones to.

I know in the past I've put myself out there first. It was always kind of awkward for me. I would like people and I guess I would want to be with them. But when I would open up and say that I liked them, I didn't necessarily expect a response, or ask them if they liked me back.

I think I just assumed that if they liked me back they would tell me.

My friend mentioned that he thought girls should be the ones to tell the guys they liked them. Because guys are less likely to get weirded out and feel they need to act differently.

Women on the other hand could and probably would change their whole schedule so they didn't bump into you on the way to class and give you the wrong idea. (I may or may not have done this).

I guess it's true. At least for me. Every time I've told someone I liked them, I was actually the one to back off. They could have said they were flattered but only liked me as a friend and I would get awkward and weird and stop going out of my way to talk to them.

Maybe this is why I have stopped telling people. Maybe I got to the point where I ruined too many friendships for myself. It wasn't worth it in the end to say anything.

I think some people are just too scared to say anything, and I completely understand. But at some point, somewhere down the line, there's going to be someone. There's going to be someone that you know you can't live without. And then, fear itself couldn't be enough to hold you back from expressing how you feel.

And you never know. Maybe they were just too scared to tell you they felt the same.