There's Something About People Believing in You.

"What was your favorite thing about school this year?" My teachers, slash, pastors, slash, friends asked me this on Thursday as we completed our last day of second year.

For a second I was just lost for words. Normally I can pin point exactly what I want to say, or at least take a minute to figure it out.

I think this time my problem was that I couldn't pick just one thing.

One, I didn't really want to think of anything because I didn't want to admit that it was over. Two, I loved almost everything about school.

Sure, there were some hard times, and things happened that at the time felt like everything was falling apart. Looking back now I can see God's hand in every single thing that happened this year.

I am stronger. I am wiser. I am definitely more confident. I was challenged in so many ways, and God gave me the strength to power through.

I am more passionate. I am filled with hope for my future.

I am finally letting creativity have my time.

I am dreaming bigger. I am dreaming out of the box. And I am doing.

A couple of weeks ago, we had a Lighthouse core team meeting. There Jamie shared his heart about "The Living Room," a new feel for the ministry building. He mentioned wanting to make these big burlap canvasses with all the Lighthouse countries on them and the city that it's in.

Immediately I started dreaming. You see Jamie had shown our class how to make stencils for spray painting and from the very moment I pulled my first stencil off of my canvas and saw a beautiful picture, I wanted to keep doing it.

After the meeting ended I went straight up to him and asked if I could do it.

Weeks later, three hours of cutting stencils, stapling and removing staples from the stencils, inhaling spray paint fumes for a couple of hours and I was done.

Nine countries were laid out before me on beautiful burlap canvasses. Nine places that I know if I were to go there at some point I would be welcomed as family. Nine Lighthouses that are standing tall and strong, encouraging people and welcoming people into their homes just as they are. Amazing leaders who choose to believe in the people who enter their doors, just as Jamie and Natalie believed in me.

You see, I was actually astounded at the fact that Jamie immediately told me to go for it. Both him and Natalie encouraging along the way, telling me what looked amazing and how awesome it was. THAT was the reason in the end it felt like one of my biggest accomplishments. Not because I thought I couldn't do it, but because of them, I knew that I could do it the whole way through.

So my second year is over. Second year is over and I don't know what is next for me. But for the first time in forever, I'm not scared.

I'm not scared of the unknown, and I'm also not scared of what's going to happen to me.

I'm hopeful. I'm excited for new beginnings and new things brewing.

I'm excited to dream, and do, and be.

I'm excited to go out and fight for what I want because I am believed in.

My friends believe in me, my pastors believe in me, and most of all God believes in me.

Switzerland: Day 12

Today. The last day of our trip before we travel home. We got to attend Lighthouse in Laax and our MLSSM team prophesied over the whole group.

Every single person left with a word. And I personally left feeling encouraged by giving words.

We end tonight, a bit tired and still processing our whole trip.

Tomorrow will hold a bus ride, a long train ride, another train ride, and then we make our way home on Swiss airlines.

I can't believe that for my first time off the continent I got to go I Switzerland.

I still feel so amazingly blessed, and even though I'm very homesick and excited to make my way back, I'll have memories here that I won't forget.

I won't ever forget my wonderful team: Amanda, Abi, Forrest, Patti, Jamie, Natalie & little Hudson.

Switzerland: Day 7

Our second day in Davos was pretty laid back. Abi and I woke up after breakfast because we stayed up pretty late, but we had orange juice and apples in our room and that was sufficient enough for breakfast.

Then we headed to the YWAMs class where they recapped all that happened last night. Students had stories about prophesying over strangers and getting to encourage people.

Hearing their stories was truly amazing because a lot of them lined up with the MLSSM students stories.

Abi and I had given words to this teenage boy who Amanda and a YWAM girl Felicia had gotten to encourage. Then I found out that another student Max had given the same word to one of the girls I had walked up to and given a word to.

It was all just so amazing.

After lunch the MLSSM team headed into town to one of Jamie's favorite coffee shops. Amazing. The food was great and the coffee was even better.

Following that we went to a designer store called Freitag where literally everything sold there is made out of the tarps that go on the side of the semi truck trailers. It sounded a little weird to me at first too, but it was so awesome. Though sadly too expensive.

We made our way home and arrived almost right in time for dinner and then had a night of worship.

The night of worship was the perfect end to a pretty perfect day. But now onto the next.

Switzerland: Day 1

Today part of the MLSSM team landed in Zürich, Switzerland. Exhausted from our lack of sleep and turbulence tossed bodies, we made our way through customs and out into the fresh (though cigarette-smoke filled) air.

Navigating the trains and buses seemed the same as almost every other city, except for the fact that people were speaking Swiss-German everywhere we went and we passed by completely dumb-founded at the fact that people could know such a intricate language.

By the time we made it to our host home for the next two nights, we were begging for sleep, and were barely hungry at all. However, that did not stop us from walking to another amazing family's house and sitting down to a traditional Switzerland Raclette dinner.

As we talked over our cheese and potatoes and an amazing dipping sauce, that I refuse to leave the country without, I got to know a few people and learn how much alike humans really all are, even in different countries and cultures.

I sat at the end of a full table and found myself wishing that my future would be like this. Inviting amazing people into my home for amazing food and wonderful conversation.

Cute kids playing in the living room and a post dinner cup of tea truly made for a good winding down session.

Now I lay on my sleeping bag on the floor awaiting the last member of our team to join us from England.

Once we all have a good nights sleep and hopefully a full recovery from the pounds of cheese we just ate, nothing can stop us from taking on tomorrow, day two of our journey through Switzerland.

Just Talk

I know it's been a while. So how about an update on where I'm at? Since school started I have changed drastically. I have prophesied. I have prayed for multiple people I didn't know. I have grown and I have been stretched.

Just this last week I have addressed problems in my life that have all coincidentally led back to a spirit of fear.

I'm afraid.

Straight up.

It's where my anxiety comes from. My feelings of inadequacy. My constant feeling that I won't be accepted or liked.

And it's so much more than me needing people to tell me I am good enough.

It's rooted so deep down from my childhood that I don't even really know where it started.

So last week we had an assignment to go up to Mammoth Mountain for the skiing and snowboard qualifiers. We were supposed to prophesy to four people we didn't know, and pray for two people we did know.

I didn't do it.

Actually sorry. I couldn't do it.

I was so scared and I literally stood there paralyzed because I couldn't hear God or didn't want to. So I didn't go up to anyone.

This week, I had to tell my teachers that I didn't do it. And I was also terrified to tell them. One, because I thought they would be disappointed. And two, I almost cry every time I talk about it.

They weren't disappointed. And they were encouraging about me trying again with everyone. I was not ready to even try and wrap my head around that.

I had to go and try again?

Well, last night I had my small group with the other students/friends, and basically I spilled the beans about everything. Fear, anxiety, how I can't talk to strangers let alone prophesy to them. Then they began praying for me and I went about my night.

Opening up my journal, I began writing. I didn't really know what it was until I realized it was God speaking directly to me in letter form. Most of it was encouraging, but then I got to the challenge.

He told me this, "I love you so much! You are my daughter, you are a daughter of the king, a daughter of God. It's time that you start stepping up and stepping out and acting like it. You carry power and I have given you authority. And all you need to be confident in is the fact that I am always there."

Great. I thought to myself. Am still thinking to myself.

You know that it's been pretty bad if God has to give you a kick in the butt.

Today I shared this with my class, and my teacher sat there smiling. Everyone knew that it was something that was most definitely truth in my life and lucky me, I was going to have a chance to walk it out again.

Our assignment today was to go out wherever God told us to go and start conversations with people, give them words, pray for them. Everyone else seemed a little nervous but fine, and I was sitting there on the edge of tears again.

We began praying for where God was leading us and my friend asked me how I felt about it and I just said "I'm scared" and started tearing up.

After I pulled myself together finally, we went out and we talked to some people.

I didn't prophesy over anyone, or pray for anyone, but we talked to a few people.

I came back feeling a little discouraged, but all in all I talked to people.

I took the step, and was intentional to talk to people, and I'm sure we left them feelings encouraged and loved.

So I may not have prophesied, or prayed. But I did talk.

Sometimes it's okay to just talk.